S2.E25: Make Better Decisions
Struggling with making a decision? This episode is for you. Not only does Kayla give the basics on whether a decision is right nor you or not, she also explains how to know if it's actually the answer you've asking the Universe for. Additionally, she shares a magic question that will guide you on any decision you need to make in your future. Bookmark this episode, it's a keeper!
I am just the girl next door who believes that the purpose of life is to enjoy, create, and have fun. I believe that as humans, we can have anything we want and things are always working out for us. Experience has taught me that the path to getting everything you want begins with ease. If you believe in miracles and happily ever after, or even if you just want to, then this is the podcast for you.
Hi there. I'm your host, Kayla Rain and welcome back to Attract With Ease. In this week's podcast episode, I am going to help you make better decisions. I'm going to give you some tips and tricks to determine whether or not the thing you're trying to make a decision about is actually an answer from the universe, or if it's just something completely unrelated to what you're asking for. I'm also going to give you a secret weapon.
It's a question that you can ask yourself that will help you determine whether or not you should decide yes or no to the decision that's being presented to you. But before I get into all of that this week, I would like to start this episode out with my gratitude. The first thing that I'm grateful for today is the opportunity to learn. I am constantly trying to teach myself new things. I am constantly learning new things even without trying.
And right now in my day job, I feel very stretched, but in a positive way. I am working towards promotion at my job, and I have learned so much in the last several months that has helped me grow personally and professionally in my personal life. I am constantly trying to learn new skills and find new resources, and I'm just so grateful that no matter where we are in life, there are constantly new opportunities for us to learn and grow and develop ourselves and our skills.
The second thing that I'm grateful for this week is my ability to change my mind, because I can tell you that I changed my mind all the time and I'm so grateful for that. You know, when I talked about building a vision board, clear back in season one, I talked about the things that used to be on my vision board versus the things that are now on my vision board. And I think about how much I have changed as a person over the years, and especially in the last five to seven years, how the things I used to desire are not the things I want anymore, and I love that I get to change my mind about that.
I used to want a giant house and a crystal chandelier and a boat and a swimming pool and all of these things, and now all I want is I want land and I want comfort, and I want a small house and I want property and I wanna feel good, and the possessions are less important to me, and it's more about lifestyle. And I love, love that life allows us to make those choices and we have the ability and the grace to change our minds.
The third thing that I'm grateful for this week is a little less feel good, and it's actually kind of something silly. If you've listened to my podcast for any period of time, you know that I'm a crystal fanatic and I have a pretty new crystal in my home that actually sits in my podcast studio and I am just obsessed with it. And you're gonna think I'm crazy. You probably already did. But this crystal is actually a crystal ball and I don't have it to be able to tell fortunes or see the future, whatever, but it is absolutely incredible.
It's about eight inches wide it or in diameter, I'll say, well, it's more than eight inches in diameter. I guess. I don't even know. It's probably about 12 or 14 inches in diameter. But it's this beautiful clear crystal ball and it is something that I have been obsessing over for years, something I have wanted that I just haven't really been able to justify spending the money on. And recently I just up and decided to do it, and I'm so glad that I did because it, it just makes me happy every time I walk into the room.
And I hope that you have things in your life that make you feel that same way. Sometimes we can't really justify a purchase, but you know what? I say this all the time, Yolo, you only live once. And this life is about enjoying it while we can. We don't know how long we have. We don't know when our last day is gonna be, and why not do things for ourselves that will bring us pure joy. And I know it seems silly that a crystal would do that for me, but I'm telling you, this particular crystal is amazing.
And maybe one day I will take some pictures of the crystals that I have throughout my home and post 'em on my website. I don't know if any of you actually care, but this is just absolutely something that just makes me feel good every single day when I see it. Every time I record a podcast episode, it's sitting on my desk and it's just fabulous. I just think it's awesome that the world creates such beautiful things. Okay, that's it for my gratitude this week. Let's move into this juicy topic of decision making because it's a big one and it's something that I actually talked about in season one.
I have an episode, episode 38, that's called decision making, but I wanna revisit it because I haven't talked about it in a long time. And I have some new thoughts and insights on how to make good decisions and to start this episode out, the first thing that I want to say, say to you is there is no such thing as should do, supposed to must. M U S t S must.
There's no such thing as that. All of that is made up and all of that is pressure that the world and society and your friends and your family and your boss and whoever in your life puts that on you. But it's all pretend. It's made up. There's no such thing as something you should do. There's no such thing as something you must do. There's no such thing as something you are supposed to do. So as we're talking about making decisions, I want you first and foremost to understand those things don't exist.
You are living this life for yourself. No one else is living your life. No one else is in your body, no one else is having the experience that you are having. And you have the power to decide what you want to do, what you get to do, you are the one that sets those expectations. And we need to let go of the guilt, and we need to let go of the pressure of feeling like we're supposed to be something or we're supposed to go somewhere or we're supposed to do something.
There's nothing we are supposed to do. Everything is all about what you want. And that is what is so exciting about the law of attraction, is when you understand how it works and when you understand that it's gonna work, no matter if you are focused on it or not, whatever you are putting out into the world, whatever your frequency is, whatever you're thinking about, whatever you're talking about is what you're going to attract. And when you understand that you have the ability to control that, you have the ability to manipulate, that you have the ability to use the power of intention to create the things you want, you can remove all of the pressure, you can remove all of the things everybody thinks you're supposed to be, all of the things everybody thinks you're supposed to do, all of the things you think you're supposed to be and all of the things you think you're supposed to do, because those things don't exist.
So I just really wanna start this podcast episode out by making that very clear because as we talk about decision making, that is absolutely a factor. If the decision is something that you feel you're supposed to do, you're wrong. If the decision is something that you feel you should do, you are wrong. There's no such thing. So here's my magic question.
Here is how you know whether or not you should do it. When you're presented with something that you're trying to decide about, the first thing you should ask yourself is, how does it make me feel? If I do that, how would that make me feel? Or if I don't do that, how does that make me feel? Because a lot of times when we are faced with a decision, that decision makes us feel anxious, makes us feel sad, makes us feel stressed or worried or overwhelmed.
And I can tell you if doing it makes you feel stressed, if doing it makes you feel overwhelmed or sad or angry or upset or any of those negative emotions, then the answer is automatically, no. It doesn't matter. If you think you should because there's no such thing as should. If it makes you feel bad, why should you do it? If it makes you frustrated or anxious, why should you do it? Here's an example. You, let's just say you have two days off every week, and in one of those two days, somebody invites you to an event that you really don't care about.
Let's say it's a graduation, a graduation for your niece. Let's just say that that's what the situation is, and you feel like you really should go, but you also feel like you really don't want to think about it for a second. You think you should go, but we just said should, doesn't exist and you really don't want to. So where is the decision actually? What is the decision?
Because if you don't want to, why would you do it? Why would you put yourself through that? All you're doing by doing something you don't want to do is perpetuating more of the things you don't want to do. You could completely support your niece in her graduation and send her a card or send her a gift or send her a video message or FaceTime her or something to make her feel like you care about her, you're proud of her, you support her without spending an entire day sitting at a graduation ceremony.
And now if you want to go and it makes you feel good, and it makes you feel like you are giving back, or you're supporting and you're loving, then absolutely go. But it all comes down to the feeling and the emotion of the decision. If it does not make you feel good, the answer should be no. Okay. Here's the next thing I want you to keep in mind. If you can't decide, the answer is no.
I'm gonna say that again. If you cannot decide on a decision, the answer is no. You know why? Because of the answer was yes, you would've said yes. And if you're on the fence about it and you can't decide, then just say no. That makes it easy. Just say no. It could be a big decision. Let's say that you are presented with a job opportunity that sounds amazing, but you have to move across the country and it freaks you out, and it's in an area that you don't really wanna live, and maybe you don't know if you can really afford, but it's this great job opportunity and you're just conflicted with this decision because you're like, well, it's really good money and it's a really good opportunity, and I can grow my resume and blah, blah, blah.
If you are sitting there conflicted about it and you're on the fence for a period of time and you just cannot decide, guess what the answer is? No. The answer is no. Because if it was yes, you would've said yes immediately. If the answer was yes, you would have said yes if you cannot decide. The answer is no. It's as simple as that. Another tidbit that I want you to keep in mind, and I've said this over and over on various podcast episodes, is that when you are asking for something from the universe, let's say you are asking for a new job or a career change or a promotion or more money or something in that vein, let's say that that's what you're focused on, and the universe brings you an opportunity.
When it is an answer from the universe, there will be absolutely zero question about it. You will not stress about it, you won't worry. You won't sit on the fence trying to make up your mind. It will absolutely 100% be a hell yes. If the universe is bringing you what you've asked for, I'm telling you it's a hell yes. There's no question about it, there's no decision, there's no thinking about it, there's no anything.
It's just yes, yes, yes. And anything that comes to you that doesn't feel like a hell yes. It doesn't necessarily mean it's a no, but what it means is it's not the solution that the universe has in store for you and you can sleep well at night knowing that. So let's say you have this opportunity, you've been asking for a promotion, you've been asking for a new job, you've been applying for all of these things, and this opportunity presents itself and you're on the fence because you have to move across the country to an area you don't wanna live.
That's more expensive than what you really wanna spend, and you cannot decide That is not the universe bringing you what you asked for. Now, it does not say that if you go that the universe won't still bring you what you're asking for. It's okay to make decisions that have nothing to do with what the universe is bringing you or cooking up for you. It's completely okay to make decisions in the meantime because guess what? The bigger the ask, the bigger the thing that you're asking for, the harder or longer it takes the universe to construct that and bring it together.
So for example, if you're asking for a front row parking space, the universe can just instantly present that for you. It's not hard. But if you are making, I don't know, $50,000 a year and you're trying to make $90,000 a year and you're looking to promote and make this big life shift and adjust things, the universe is going to have to orchestrate some things. It's gonna have to put some people in place and some opportunities in place, and you are going to have to do some work, and you're gonna have to apply for things.
You're gonna have to put yourself out there and it's gonna take time. So it's okay if while you're looking to jump from 50,000 a year to $90,000 a year, it's okay if the universe is working on that in the background while you're making other decisions. You could take a different job that makes 60 or 70, you could move across the country and hold out because sometimes the things that we do, the decisions we make open the doors for new things.
So here's another thought for you in regards to decision making, and I think I said this in episode 38 of season one, and that is when you walk through a door, meaning when you make a decision and you go through to the other side and you commit to that decision, it does not mean you have to stay there. It's not permanent. Nothing in life is permanent. So don't think just because you say yes to something, just because you change that job or you move across the country, that that has to be the rest of your life or the rest of your existence.
Nothing stays the same and walking through one door puts you in a room with all of these new doors. It opens up new opportunities. So if it's something you want to do, but it's not a hell yes, then do it. Because guess what? It will open up new doors and open up new opportunities and present you with new things that the universe can align for you in order to give you the thing that you actually really want, the thing you've been asking for, the thing that the universe is working on for you.
So once again, when the universe is bringing you the answer to your request, it will always be a hell yes, always every single time, and is almost always going to be far better than anything you could have ever imagined or orchestrated on your own, which is why it's a hell yes. It just feels so good. It's just so easy, it's so effortless. And that leads me into my next point, which is if it feels hard, if the decision is hard, and I don't mean making the decision if what you have to do when you make the decision is too hard, it's not yes, and it's not from the universe.
What I mean by that is let's say that whatever you are trying to make a decision about requires you to take an extraordinary amount of time away from work or your family, and it's just very taxing on you. Or let's say it requires a large amount of money that seems impossible to come up with in a very short period of time. If it is something that is so hard and strenuous to bring about, I'm going to tell you right now, that is not the answer from the universe.
Now, it doesn't say you can't do it. You can do it if you want. If you think you can figure it out and you think it'll make you happy, then go for it. But when the universe is answering your requests, it's not difficult. It's not hard. It's not going to be something that you have to suffer to get to the other side. It's not going to be that kind of a decision. It's going to be handed to you on a silver platter where it's easy and effortless and you'll receive it in bite size pieces.
It'll be one thing that leads to another thing that leads to another thing that eventually presents itself to the one thing that you really wanted the most. And it will be seamless and easy when the universe answers your call. It's seamless and easy. So when you are facing a decision that is hard and stressful and worrisome and you don't know how you're gonna get through it, that's not your answer from the universe. And again, it's okay if you want to do it, go ahead, do it.
But it's not the answer you've been asking for. But again, if you decide to do it and walk through that door, you will be in a room that opens up new doors. There will be new options, new opportunities to present itself. So there's really no right or wrong. There's no should dos, there's no supposed tos. There's no, you must. It doesn't exist. Alright, I wanna shift gears a little bit on this conversation, and I wanna talk about some less stressful, big decisions that could come to our lives.
And I'm going to get into that a little bit. But before I do it, I wanna take a quick break so we can hear from our sponsors.
Hi there. Welcome back to Attract It With Ease. We've been talking about decision making and some of the points that I've made up to now is that there's no such thing as should dos. There's no such thing as you must. There's no such thing as you're supposed to. It's all up to you and what feels good. I've also made the point that when the universe is bringing you an answer to your request, it's not going to be a question of should you?
Do you want to, it will absolutely 100% be a hell yes. If it's hell, yes, it is the answer to your request and jump at that opportunity. And I know you will. If it's stressful, if it's hard, if it takes too much money or too much time or too many resources, or you don't even know how to get there, and it just kind of sounds good, it's not the universe bringing you the answer to what you've been asking for. It's just something that came your way.
And you can do it if you want to. You can do it if it feels good, but if it's too hard and it's too stressful, let the opportunity pass. Alright, that leads me into another thought. And that is there's no such thing as a missed opportunity. There's no such thing. The universe will never only give you one chance it, it won't happen. Now, it might not be the same opportunity, but there will never be a missed opportunity.
And I want you to really soak that in. There's no such thing as a missed opportunity. And what I mean by that is the universe will continue to circle back and will continue to try and get your attention, try to get you in alignment, try to catch you at a time that feels good, and feels right and feels easy so that it is a hell yes. Don't stress about a decision thinking I have to do it right now even though it's not good timing because this is my only opportunity.
That's not a thing. The universe will continue to bring you opportunities. It will continue to come around again, and it may not come around in the same exact way. It may not be the exact same opportunity, but it will still be the answer to what you're asking for. So if you feel like the timing's not right, or if something feels off, or if it makes you feel bad or it makes you anxious or it makes you stressed, the answer is no.
If you cannot make up your mind the answer is no. And don't worry about missing out on an opportunity because that opportunity will come around again at a time where it is a hell yes. Do what makes you feel good. This life is about feeling good. The purpose of life is to enjoy. The whole reason that we're here is to enjoy the human experience.
I've talked about this so much lately, but the whole point of this life is just to be joyful, to have fun, to create, to love, to experience things, to feel happiness, to feel love. That is why we're here. And anything, anything, absolutely anything that is not in alignment with those emotions, those are things we can choose not to do. Those are things we can turn away from.
We can say no, and it's okay to say no. Even if people want to pressure you, even if people want to guilt trip you, guess what? It's your life. It's your decision. It's your happiness on the line. You can do what you want to do. You can decide what's best for you, and you should choose joy. Okay, with that being said, let's talk about some decisions that you might make.
How about whether or not you should buy an item? That's an easy one. Sometimes it doesn't feel easy because we think about it and it seems like a large purchase. Let's talk about my crystal ball that I purchased. It took me a long time to make the decision to buy that because it was something I just couldn't really justify. So when you are thinking about should I buy an item that's not really something you're presenting to the universe, but it's still a decision that you wanna make or needs to be made.
And my suggestion is don't buy it immediately if you can't decide. And just like I said, if you can't make a decision, then the answer is no. Well say no, say no to that item. But here's the caveat to that. If you can't stop thinking about it, if it keeps coming up for you, if you keep seeing it, if you keep wondering about it, if you make the decision not to buy it today or not to buy it now, or not to buy a win, it's on sale, but it keeps coming up for you and you can't let it go from your mind, just do it.
Do it. Even if it doesn't make sense, do it. If it seems frivolous, just do it. Buy the thing, buy the item, it's not gonna hurt. And guess what? Sometimes putting money out there that we can't really justify shows the universe that we trust, that the universe will replace it. We don't receive money to hang onto it. If we want to be wealthy, if we want to attract more, we need to spend, and I don't mean go into debt, but what I mean is we need to be willing to release and let go and let money flow through us.
So if you can afford it, but you can't justify it, then the answer is yes, buy it. Don't buy it the first time, don't buy it the second time. But when it keeps coming up for you and you can't stop thinking about it, eventually buy it, there's a reason for that. And just like my crystal ball, you'll get so much joy and happiness when you let the money go and you buy the thing that you really want. That's what life is about. It's about enjoyment.
Okay? What about whether or not you should call him or her, whether or not you should double text? I'm sure you know what a double text is, but that means you text someone, they don't respond, and so you text them again, especially in the early stages of a relationship, one of the so-called rules is don't double text. You know, obviously you don't wanna be someone that's hounding someone and blowing them up trying to get them to respond. That's not how you get somebody to fall for you, right?
But let's say you're trying to think about that. Should I call them? You haven't heard from them? Should I call? Should I text? Should I double text? They're not calling me back. What should I do? Well, I'm gonna go back to my statement from earlier, which is if you can't decide, the answer is no. And I know sometimes we do things we shouldn't do. And that doesn't mean that if you double text or you call the person and you blow them up, that anything bad is gonna happen.
It doesn't necessarily indicate that it's okay to make decisions that we regret. It's okay to do things that we wouldn't normally do, but when we're talking about the law of attraction and attracting the life we want and attracting the future we want and attracting the things that we want, including the love that we want, it all comes down to what makes us feel good.
Does calling that person make you feel good? Does double texting them make you feel good? If it does, then do it. Who cares? Who cares what the rules are? But I can tell you sometimes it does not feel good when you do those things and you don't get the response you want. If you blow somebody up, they're probably gonna push back even more. If you double text all the time and you're constantly going, Hey, pay attention to me. Pay attention to me. You are trying to manipulate the outcome instead of allowing the universe to give you the thing that you want.
And like I said, when the universe brings you the thing that you've been asking for, not only will it feel like a hell yes, but it will be simple and effortless and easy. If the person you're trying to get to pay attention to you isn't paying attention to you, it's not the answer to the thing you've been asking for. And I know that that's so hard when we have emotions attached to it, but if they're not responding or they're not giving you the attention you desire, they're not the one for you.
And so sure, go ahead and call them. If it makes you feel good, go ahead and double text them if it makes you feel good. But eventually, it's not gonna feel good if they're not responding and they're not giving you the attention that you desire and the attention that you deserve. So allow yourself the ability to move away from those decisions and allow the universe to bring you exactly what you're asking for, which is someone that will pay attention to you and someone that will bring you the love that you're asking for and the love that you deserve.
Okay, I kind of talked about moving. I talked about new jobs. There's all kinds of decisions that we can make in life. Maybe it's not moving across the country, but maybe it's just moving into a new home. Maybe you're trying to decide, can I afford this monthly payment, whether it's buying a house or renting a house or renting an apartment, or whatever the case may be. Maybe it's about affordability. Again, let me ask you, how does it make you feel?
And how stressful is it if making that monthly payment is going to be stressful and seems hard and you don't know how you're going to do it? And if you can commit to it, then I'm telling you it's not the answer that you're asking the universe for. It doesn't mean you can't do it. It doesn't mean you shouldn't do it. But again, if it's something that's not a hell yes, it's not the answer from the universe. And if you really can't decide, the answer is no.
With all that being said though, going back to the question of how does it make you feel, if this is a property that you absolutely love and it's exactly what you've wanted and it's a little bit over your budget, well guess what? The universe can bring you ways that you can create more money, that you can receive more money. Money shouldn't be the reason that you say no. It should never be the reason that you say no, because you can always attract more.
You can always have more money. And just like I was saying about whether or not you should buy something, I if we're willing to let go and not hang on, if we're willing to release the money and allow the flow through, if we allow money to come and flow through us, it will continue to come back to us. It's when we squander it and we squeeze it and we hang on to it, and we stress about it, and we worry about it. That's when money stops flowing to us. And so that's the emotion that you should be paying attention to.
If it's just a little bit over your budget, but you can figure out how to make it work, and you feel like, well, things might be tight, but I can do it, and that property really makes you feel good, then it's okay to make that decision. And if it feels easy, and if it feels effortless, then that's the universe bringing you on a silver platter, exactly what you've been asking for. But never let money be the reason you say no, because there will always be more money.
And again, if you can release that tension and let money flow through you, it will continue to flow to you. Is this making sense to you? Do you feel like you can make a decision based on the things I'm talking about? Because it's simple, basic principles. If you can just remember that there's no such thing as I should do this, and there's no such thing as I'm supposed to do this and there's no such thing as I must do this.
That is pressure that you or someone else is putting on you, an unrealistic expectation, then you can just make decisions based off of feeling, does it feel good? Does it feel right? Does it feel easy? Is it a hell yes? And don't feel like you're gonna miss out on an opportunity. Don't feel like there's not going to be something better because there's always something better.
You know, that makes me think of something that I heard the other day in a LinkedIn learning. I heard a reference to fobo. Now you've heard a fomo, fear of missing out F O M O, right? You've heard a fomo. This is a reference to fobo. F O B O. Fobo is fear of better offer. Sometimes we are so stuck in our decision-making process because we fear that a better offer's going to come along or we fear a better offer isn't going to come along.
Like maybe it doesn't feel perfect. Maybe it feels hard, maybe it doesn't feel that exciting. Maybe it feels like it's mostly what you asked for, but not everything that you asked for. And so you're on the fence about the decision because you're like, maybe this is as good as it gets. It's not exactly what I'm asking for, but maybe, maybe nothing better is going to come along. Well, guess what? Something better will always come along. It's always better. And when the universe brings you the answer to your request, it's always better.
It's always better than you could imagine. It's not half of what you imagined, it's not half of what you wanted. It's not just kind of feels good. It's a hell yes, absolutely. 100%, yes, yes, yes. That is what the universe will bring you. And if you're fearing making the decision because you think that's the best it's going to get, well, then the answer is no. The answer is absolutely no.
Because when it's yes, when it's from the universe, when it's what you're asking for, the answer will always be yes. I hope that helps you with your decision making. If you have any questions, you can absolutely 100% reach out to me at hello attractive with ease.com. I would love to answer any questions you have in regards to decision making, in regards to the law of attraction, in regards to anything that I've been talking about today or have talked about on previous podcast episodes.
But I'm telling you right now, you have an internal guidance system, and that is your emotions. The way that you feel gives you everything you need to know about any decision you need to make. If you're on the fence, it's a no. If it makes you feel good, if you can't understand or you don't know, you can't justify it, but it makes you feel good. It's a yes.
It's always yes, always choose the answer that brings you the most joy. And if the decision doesn't bring you joy, then the answer is no. Even if you think you're supposed to, even if you think you should, even if the world tells you that that's how it's supposed to be, it doesn't have to be that way. And the universe can bring you absolutely anything and everything that you desire. If you believe and you ask and you stay in alignment with the thing that you're asking for, if you tune your vibrations to joy and love and happiness and peace and contentment and gratitude, you can have everything that you desire in this life.
And that leads me to this week's action item. This week's action item is to catch yourself. When you start thinking, I should, I should, I should, I should really do that. What I'm saying is when you are guilting yourself into a decision, or when someone else is trying to guilt you into doing something and it doesn't feel good, but you're saying, but I really should, just like the niece's graduation, if it's something you don't want to do, catch yourself telling yourself that you should do it.
Catch yourself and stop and remind yourself that that is not a thing. There's no such thing as should do. And ask yourself how it makes you feel. How does choosing to move forward and say yes? How does that make you feel? Because if it makes you anxious, if it makes you feel stressed or overwhelmed, then don't say yes. Say no. Learn to say no.
Now, on the flip side, if it's a hell yes and it makes you feel good, then absolutely 100% do it. But don't do it because you think you should do it. Don't do it because somebody is pressuring you. Don't do it because you think you're supposed to. There's no such thing as supposed to. There's no such thing as must do. There's no such thing as should do. Everything is about joy. Everything in this life is about seeking happiness, seeking love, feeling good.
I don't care if it's selfish. Make the decision to choose you. Make the decision to choose joy. I just wanna remind you that I have a weekly giveaway for a free manifestation journal. Every person that leaves a written review of my podcast, a written review, it doesn't matter if it's one star, every person that leaves a review will be entered into a weekly drawing for my giveaway of a free manifestation journal.
And if you wanna see those journals, I have pictures of them on my website, attract it with ease.com. But if you leave me a review and tell me what you think, tell me if I'm helping you, tell me if this information makes sense. Tell me if you disagree with me, tell me how it's going. I would love to hear from you. And reviews are what helps the podcast grow. It's been so fun talking with you this week. I hope that you're able to make good decisions and I'm looking forward to talking with you next week.
Have a good one. Bye-bye.