S2.E30: Manifesting What You Don’t Want
Did you know you are unintentionally attracting things you don’t want simply by the things you're saying or the story you’re telling? Statements like, “Every time I wash my car it rains”, reiterates a story and attracts more of the outcomes you don’t desire, vs. the ones you do. In this episode Kayla gives several examples of the things we say that work against us, and shares how to stop the cycle so we can attract the outcomes we want.
I am just the girl next door who believes that the purpose of life is to enjoy, create, and have fun. I believe that as humans, we can have anything we want and things are always working out for us. Experience has taught me that the path to getting everything you want begins with ease. If you believe in miracles and happily ever after, or even if you just want to, then this is the podcast for you.
Hi there, I'm your host, Kayla Rain, and welcome back to Attract It with Ease. In this week's episode, I wanna talk to you about how you are manifesting things you don't want and how you're doing it without intentionally doing it, but you're doing it nonetheless. And today, not only am I going to point out how you're doing it and why you're doing it, but I'm gonna help you turn that around. So instead of manifesting the things you don't want, you can begin manifesting the things you do want.
But before I get into all of that, I wanna talk to you about a few things I'm grateful for this week. The first thing on my list of gratitude this week is I had the most amazing Memorial Day weekend. My husband's boss actually sent us to Napa, and not only did we go to go to Napa, but we stayed in the most amazing resort. My husband got to play several rounds of golf. We had wonderful food, but we also got to attend the Bottle Rock Music Festival.
We got to watch Post Malone perform, and not only did we get to attend, but we had V I P passes. We were literally right next to the stage with this incredible view with unlimited drinks, free food, all kinds of swag, t-shirts, sweatshirts, hats, you name it. It was the most amazing weekend, and I am so grateful for that opportunity, but also grateful that it didn't cost us a dime.
It was so fun to get away for the weekend with my husband, and it was so fun to have those experiences and I'm just so grateful for that. The second thing that I'm grateful for this week kind of ties into what I just said, and that is job perks. My husband has some incredible perks with his job. He just has an employer that really takes care of him, but I also have some pretty cool job perks as well. And one of those right now is that I have the ability to buy a 19 51, 1500.
This is a classic truck that has been mostly restored, and I have the ability to buy it at an incredible price. And I'm telling you that is one of the perks of my job. And I am so incredibly grateful that we both have amazing jobs that we really enjoy, but both of them come with some really great perks and I just can't say enough how wonderful the universe is to me and how the universe just continues to bring me wonderful, exciting opportunities that all I have to do is reach out and accept.
And the third thing that I'm grateful for this week is having found my creative outlet. This week I was talking to my husband about where we were at, around the time that we met. And if you followed me for any period of time, you know that my husband is a professional photographer and he has a creative outlet constantly. He loves to shoot photos. He's amazing at it. He creates a lot of content. He does brand and product photography. That's actually what he does for work, or a big portion of his work.
He'd tell you it's a little portion of his work because he has a lot of other projects on his plate, but that's what he does for a living. And when I first met him, I was in this phase where I really just was trying to rediscover myself and I didn't really have a passion project. I really didn't have anything to throw myself into or to help me in that creative realm. And as you know, not only do I have this podcast, which absolutely helps me with my creativity, but I also have a creative outlet in my crystal art.
I have an Etsy shop where I sell crystals, but I also have the, but I also have the opportunity and the ability to create beautiful crystal creations. They're painted artwork, A lot of them are mandalas where I attach crystals to them, and it's something that I completely enjoy and helps feed my creative side. And I am so grateful to have found not only one, but two different things that I can do on a weekly basis that helps drive that creative side of my personality and helps me feel like I have a creative outlet.
So that's it for my gratitude. This week. Let's talk about manifesting and let's talk about how you are manifesting things that you don't want and you probably don't even know it. Now, this coincides with last week's episode. If you listen to last week's episode, it's called Believe and Receive. And essentially what I talked about last week is what you believe to be true is true for you. And this is continuing on that conversation. And what I mean by that is that we have a tendency to say things, believe things create things in our reality completely unintentionally, but that work against what we really desire.
And maybe they're not the things we're working to so-called manifest, but we're creating negative outcomes in our lives literally by the things that we say and the things that we believe. And I'm gonna give you a bunch of examples in this episode. I'm gonna talk about things that I think and say that work against me. I'm gonna talk about some things I regularly overhear from my husband and the people that I work with. And I think some of these things are going to hit home for you, and you are going to realize that you too are saying and thinking things that are working against you.
So here's the first thing that comes to mind. Today I was at work and it was Memorial Day. Yes, I'm recording this on Memorial Day releasing of the day after. I'm definitely not ahead on my recording schedule, but today I was at work and there were so many people that did not wanna be there. So many employees who were frustrated about the fact that it was Memorial Day and here we were working. And there's one girl that I work with, and every night that she closes, it seems like crazy, unexpected, ridiculous situations occur to the point where she hates closing.
None of us really like closing, and I say closing, we don't work crazy late, but we usually are there till nine 30, sometimes 10 o'clock at night. And so not only does she already not like closing, but on top of that, she has this mindset that every time she closes something bad happens. And honestly, because she has that mindset, it usually does. She has numerous stories of how she got stuck there late, how things just fell apart, how situations occurred.
And she closed a couple times over the holiday weekend. And today I went in and she just listed off this entourage of things that happened this weekend that support her commentary or her thought or her idea that every time she closes, things get out of control. And to be fair, and to be honest, as she shared some of these experiences, I thought to myself, oh my gosh, that is absurd. That is crazy. And she literally has evidence to support her idea that every time she closes, things get out of hand.
But the fact of the matter is that she constantly says that. She constantly says when she closes or when she's working by herself, things get out of control. And guess what? That's her reality. That's her truth. What she believes to be true is true for her. So as much as she wants exactly the opposite, as much as she wants work to be easy and life to be stress free as she wants to be able to close right on time and go home right away once the store is closed, her reality is that every night that she closes, something falls apart and things get out of hand.
And I realize this afternoon that while she was saying that to me and she was saying, it's always like that when I close, it's always like that. When I'm the closing manager, things always get crazy. I realized that she's actually reaffirming not only through her beliefs, but through her language, the exact opposite of what she desires. And I thought, I really need to talk about that this week. I really need to talk about how we have a tendency to create negative outcomes, to turn situations into the opposite of what we want, literally by believing that we don't get what we want, but also by reaffirming it through our words.
So I'm gonna list a bunch of things. Like I said, things I say to myself, things my husband says to me, things that I hear through the people I surround myself with. And I think you're gonna connect with some of these phrases. So in no specific order, I've got a list here. The first one I've talked about on the podcast, my husband regularly tells me that he never sleeps well, he constantly wakes up and he'll ask me, how did you sleep? And I say, oh, I slept great. Or, oh, it was, I slept fine.
Or whatever it is that I say. And then when I turn the question around and I ask him how he slept, he often says, I never sleep well, I just toss and turn all night. That's just the norm for me. And the fact of the matter is that that's probably true, but but the fact that he believes that that's his truth, the fact he believes that he tosses and turns every night, the fact that he believes that he doesn't sleep well, guess what? Even if that's not true, that's his reality and that's what he thinks.
But on top of that, not only is it what he thinks, but he's creating that, he's manifesting that. He's putting that out into the universe. That is his attraction point. That is what he's manifesting not only for tonight, but in the future. And every time he says that, he's reaffirming it even though it's the exact opposite of the thing that he desires, which is one night of good sleep. Here's another one for you. How many times have you said or heard someone else say, every time I wash my car, it rains.
We've had a lot of rain in the last week and I've had multiple people around me say, oh, it's my fault. I washed my car every time I washed my car. It rains. Now it's not really super upsetting. It's kind of annoying if you spend a lot on a car wash and you feel like you just ruined it because it rained the next day. But in the same turn, it's really not what we desire. It's not what we want. So why do we say that? Why do we affirm it? Why do we believe that? And even if we have evidence that it's happened in the past, or even if we have evidence that it continually occurs, why would we add to it?
Why would we give any energy into the thing we don't want by just stating it, reaffirming it, putting it out there? Why wouldn't we just keep that to ourselves? Why don't we change it? Why don't we flip the script and say the opposite? Alright, here's another one. People that are trying to lose weight. I know women in general will often say this, everything I eat goes straight to my hips. Everything I eat goes straight to my hips.
Every time I eat sweets, it goes straight to my hips. Why in the world would you say that that's not what we want? None of us want that. I know two different people in my life who have an incredibly difficult time putting on weight. And I'll tell you, both of them say to me, doesn't matter how hard I try, I cannot put on weight. I can eat as much as I want. I can work out as much as I want. I can eat as much protein as I want, and I never put on weight.
What do those phrases do for us? They don't bring us any value. Why in the world would we continue to reiterate those things, even if it's our belief, even if it's been our truth, even if we can find evidence of it, why would we continue to say that? Why would we put that out into the universe? Here's another one. My husband and I have two really good friends and they don't live very far from us, but we just have not been able to coordinate schedules.
We've been trying for months, and every time that my husband and I have time off together, they seem to be out of town or they already have plans and we've tried over and over and over again to coordinate something and something always comes up or it's always not far enough out and there's always something in the way. And so my husband tends to say, we can't ever seem to sync up our schedules. We can't ever seem to coordinate our schedules. And my husband even joked this last weekend when we were in Napa, because they were there also, he said, you know, we're gonna have to start booking like six months in advance just to get on each other's calendars.
That's not ideal. That's not what we want. And none of us are really booking our entire lives six months in advance. But because that's our perception, that is our reality. And because he continues to say that we cannot coordinate our schedules, we continue to not be able to coordinate our schedules. Can you see how the things that we say can unintentionally manifest things that we don't want instead of manifesting the things that we do want? How about when you go to place an order from Uber Eats or Postmates?
Now I realize that's a US thing. If you are listening and you're not from the United States, you may not even know what that means, but we have the ability to order food through apps. This kind of came about or became bigger through covid when you couldn't really go out to eat at restaurants. It became the norm that you could use an app and you could order food and they would deliver it to you. But because the people that work for these companies literally go to the restaurants, pick up your food and then deliver it to you, you're at their mercy to A, get the order, right?
B, bring it while it's still warm if it's a hot item. And C, bring it to the right address. And I can't tell you how many people in my sphere of influence regularly say they always mess up my order. They always screw up my order. They never get my address right. They never get the extras right? They always say there's no point in ordering it online because they always get it wrong. Now, if that is your belief that they always get it wrong, what do you think your reality is?
They always get it wrong. And even if they really don't always get it wrong, if that's what you believe to be true, that's your experience. That's true for you and that's what you think your life is like, even if it's not what your life is like. But honestly, you likely have multiple stories and multiple situations to back up your beliefs to bring evidence to the table. Why don't we scrap that? Why don't we start over? Why don't we say what we want?
Why don't we throw it out? And instead of saying, that is my truth, that is my existence. That is my experience. Why can't we flip the script? I have a whole episode on flipping the script where you take what you believe and you turn it around. You say the opposite, you say the opposite things so that you're actually attracting the things that you want, even if you don't believe it. But instead of just saying the opposite, if you don't believe the exact opposite, if you know that every time you order from Uber Eats, they're gonna screw up your order, it may be difficult for you to say They always get my order right?
But guess what? You don't have to go to that extreme. You can meet it in the middle and say, you know, in my past, they always used to screw up my order. They always got my order wrong. But the tide is turning. Things are changing for me. Everything's always working out for me. And from here forward, they seem to get my order right. They always get my order right. I don't know what changed. I don't know what changed that experience, but they no longer get my order wrong.
Every time I order from Uber Eats, they get my order right? Can you see how it's not just saying the opposite of what you believe? Because sometimes saying the opposite is so hard because you have so much evidence that supports the negative idea. So many situations, so many experiences that tell you no, that's not right. The truth is it always happens. The truth is, every time I wash my car, it rains. The truth is, every time I close or I work by myself, things get crazy.
The truth is we can never coordinate our schedules. The truth is I never get a good night's sleep. You have all these stories, all these situations that you can show as evidence. Why can't you say, that used to be my experience, but it's not anymore. Why can't you say that? That's what I'm talking about. You don't even realize it. But there are things that you're doing, things you're believing, things you're saying that are unintentionally manifesting the things that you don't want instead of attracting the things that you do want.
Now, I'm gonna take a break right here for our sponsors, and when I come back, I'm gonna tell you how to turn it around. And it's not just changing that idea of that used to happen and changing that verbiage. There's a little bit more that you can do that's even stronger than that. And I'm gonna come back and give you a few more examples of things you might be doing or things you might be saying that's attracting the opposite of the things you desire. I'll be right back with you.
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Speaker 1 (19m 52s): Welcome back to attract It with Ease. We were just talking about different things that you may be thinking or maybe saying that are unintentionally attracting the opposite of the things that you really want in life. Now, I'm not talking necessarily about big, huge manifestations, but what I'm talking about is our beliefs and our words about things that happen to us or experiences that we have where we unintentionally say things that work against the things that we want.
Some examples of that that I gave are when you say things like, I never sleep well, or you say, every time I wash my car, it rains. I promise you, you would rather sleep well and you'd rather have a clean car for days than the opposite. But yet we have a tendency to find evidence to support these ideas and beliefs. And not only do we have evidence of it, but we verbalize it, we spew it, we say it, we tell this story, we live this story, and we retell it over and over and over again.
So this story becomes our reality. Here's a few other examples of that. When my husband and I were headed to Napa, it was a holiday weekend and my husband kept saying, traffic is going to be crazy. He kept saying, I don't wanna go through Sacramento because traffic is going to be crazy. Well, guess what? We did go through Sacramento and traffic was crazy. How many times do you hear that traffic is gonna be crazy, especially at rush hour, especially around a holiday, especially when you're traveling somewhere.
How many times do you say those kinds of things? Traffic is gonna be crazy. Here's one for you. This is something I say, especially when I'm in a humid environment. I frequently say, oh, my hair will not hold curl. Now actually, I live in a dry climate and my hair holds curl really well when I'm home, but when I travel regularly, I'll curl my hair and within half hour an hour it looks just a mess.
And that is my experience. That is my story. That's what I keep saying. And I regularly spit that out. I relive that and I have all of these examples of it. I have pictures of it, I have stories of it. I have the ability to build this up into a big thing where my belief is just so huge where it's like, I don't care. It is humid. My hair looks a wreck. I look like a witch. My hair is crazy. I shouldn't have even bothered doing my hair.
That's my story. That's what I say all the time. But what if I said the opposite? What if I said, usually when I go to a humid environment, my hair looks crazy within like 30 minutes, but you know what? The tides are turning for me. My luck is turning around. Things are always working out for me. And when I curl my hair today, it's gonna look good all day. And you could say, Kayla, that sounds absurd. That sounds ridiculous. You can't control the humidity in the air.
But guess what? I can control what I manifest for myself. I can control the words that are coming out of my mouth. I can change the story. I can flip the script. Here's another one for you. My husband's a golfer. He's actually a really good golfer, but almost every single time he's played this season, when he comes home, I ask him how his golf game went. And he says, well, the first half started out great.
I played well on the first nine, but on the back half I fell apart. That's his story. Now, granted some of the time, the reason that the back half fell apart is that's when he starts drinking halfway through the game, they start to order drinks. And I definitely think that plays into his ability to play golf. But he has said multiple times this season, I don't know what it is, but I just can't seem to close it out. I always start out strong and the second half of my game is terrible.
It sucks. And the more that he says that, the more that that's his reality, the more that that's his experience. And I'm telling you what my husband has yet to play a single game this season that he has been ultimately excited about. Every single time he has a story or an excuse about how it started out strong, how he was under par, how he was playing so well, how he was so excited, how he was playing better than so many of the people in his group. And then it turned around.
That's his experience. That's his story. And the more that he reiterates that, the more that he believes that the more that he finds evidence of it, the more he continues to attract that and manifest that into his existence. And the more that that becomes his reality, even though it's not what he wants. Okay, so let's talk about how to turn this around. I've kind of listed a few things, things I've talked about on other episodes. You can literally flip the script. You can say the opposite, whether or not you believe it, you can kind of meet it in the middle halfway and say, well, that used to be my experience, but that's not my experience anymore.
Tides are turning for me. I've turned a new page. This is a new chapter in my book. And although that's how things used to go for me, things are different and things are always working out for me. Now, those are two strong things that will work for you in helping you turn the things you don't want to manifest into the things you do wanna manifest. But let's talk about two more things that you can do. And these are two things that I talk about on a regular basis.
Number one is visualization. Visualization is one of the most underutilized tools to manifest any desire in your heart. And I've said on multiple occasions, even in last week's episode, that your mind does not know the difference between a memory and a visualization. So when you spend time visualizing something the way that you want, putting that outcome out there and creating that picture in your mind, it's as if your mind is reliving a memory.
Your mind doesn't know any different. You are rewiring your mind literally. So when we're talking about beliefs and when your mind can find multiple pieces of evidence, of times when things did not work in your favor, and it can say, well, what about this time? And what about this time? And what about this time? The more times that you can spend visualizing it, turning out the way that you want. Let's take the golf game for example. If my husband sat down before he played a game of golf and he spent five minutes visualizing the outcome that he wanted, visualizing playing that course, visualizing hitting par or being under par on various holes or the entire game, or visualizing what it would be like to have a score under 80, whatever the case might be, if my husband spent time visualizing that, it would be as if his mind was now creating evidence and memories of that happening.
So now you're balancing out the scales. Yeah, you might have all these stories. Yes, you might have all this evidence of times when it didn't work the way you wanted and how things didn't turn out, but you also create these stories and these so-called memories for your mind of times that it did. And if you spend time visualizing, you are helping rebuild those beliefs in your mind, but you're also teaching your mind as if it's a memory.
So not only are you attracting the things that you want, but you're helping switch the beliefs in your mindset. Visualization is powerful and it only takes a few minutes to visualize the outcome that you want. Now you need to visualize it before that outcome occurs. Otherwise it doesn't help you. It doesn't help you this time. You can't get the outcome you don't want. And then visualize what you do want and think is gonna change that outcome cuz it already happened. But if you spend a few minutes visualizing before the outcome occurs, if you just wake up in the morning and get in habit of visualizing the things that you want or visualizing the day that you want or visualizing the outcomes you want, you will crazy drastically.
Not only control the outcome of your day, but you will manifest the things that you want and you will start turning your beliefs around. So visualization is one of the most powerful things that you can do in order to manifest the things that you desire instead of unintentionally manifesting the things you don't want. So that's number one. Number two is setting an intention. Now, an intention takes a lot less time, and I have a couple episodes on intention. If you don't know how to set your intention, go back and listen to my episodes on intention because they are very specific.
But just to break it down real simple for you, when you set your intention, you can literally start out with the words. My intention is now, that's not the only way to set an intention, but it can be as simple as that. My intention is to have a great day. My intention is to golf a game of 80. My intention is to par every single hole.
My intention is to be able to order food to go, and they will get my order right? My intention is to be able to wash my car and keep it clean for a week. It is my intention to put on weight. It is my intention to be able to eat this dessert and not have it negatively impact me. It is my intention to be able to eat whatever I want.
It is my intention to have beautiful, good looking hair throughout the day. It is my intention to avoid the crazy holiday traffic. Do you see how easy it is to literally set your intention? It's as simple as just saying what you want and instead of asking for it, it's different than a prayer. You know so many of us that were raised religiously, we're taught to pray for things. And when we pray for things, we ask for them.
We're almost asking permission. But an intention has nothing to do with asking. It has everything to do with stating is saying it as it is, is putting it as a statement instead of a request. There's power in that. There's power in not saying, please, I have a whole episode about that from season one. Stop saying, please don't say please don't make a request. State what you want. Put it out there. Put it as a as a statement.
This is what is happening. And you're telling the universe, you're directing the universe. I have an episode called i I Captain. It's when a captain gives an order on a ship and everybody just falls in line and they repeat the order. It happens in a restaurant. Someone calls out the order and the people making the food repeat the order back. It's a way of acknowledging what you want. And instead of asking, you're just saying, this is it. That is what the intention is.
Intention is putting it out there stating this is what's happening and there is power in that, and the universe will listen to you. So that leads me into this week's action item. Now, there's a lot of things you could do with this action item because you could flip the script. You could just say the opposite. You could use intention to get what you want. You could use visualization. But here's what I really think would be most helpful for you this week.
I think if you can take the time to just have a conscious awareness of every time you say something out loud that is the opposite of what you desire, meaning you catch yourself saying, every time I close, things get crazy. You catch yourself saying, every time I start to get ahead, something unexpected comes up and I'm never able to save money.
You catch yourself saying, we're never able to coordinate schedules. It is so hard to make plans with these people. You catch yourself saying, every time I wash my car, it rains. I promise you, if you have an awareness of the things that come out of your mouth that are the opposite of the things that you desire, you'll be empowered to change those thoughts, change those words and change those beliefs.
So it starts with catching yourself when you say it. So I challenge you this week to write down every single time you catch yourself saying something opposite of what you desire, write it down. And then when you write it down, I want you to think of how you can flip that. And I don't just mean flip the script. I'm not just saying say the opposite, but think about how can I change this?
And maybe you change it by flipping the script. Maybe you do say the opposite. Maybe you correct what you said and say the opposite. Maybe you just make the conscious commitment to say the opposite thing. Next time, maybe you make the conscious decision to set your intention next time. Maybe you make the conscious decision to visualize tomorrow so that that is not your experience tomorrow. You can turn that around any way that you desire, but it starts with an awareness of where you're messing up, where you're actually getting in your own way by saying things and believing things and reaffirming things and telling a story that is exactly the opposite of the life you want to live.
Now, I want to remind you that I do have a weekly giveaway every week this season for anyone that leaves a written review of my podcast, you will be entered into a weekly drawing to win one of my free manifestation journals. Now, these are custom made. The only way you can get one is through leaving me a review. But I do have a winner this week and I wanna announce them. I have a new review on Apple podcasts that I'm so excited about, and it's from sh VAs, s h a n n a v a v s.
Shannon left me a nice five star review, and folks, it doesn't have to be five stars. Leave me an honest review, tell me what you think of the podcast. But if you leave me a written review, you'll be entered into my weekly drawing, so sh vs. If you're listening, send me an email at hello, attract it with ease.com, send me your address. You are a winner of one of my manifestation journals, and I will mail that to you completely free.
Congratulations and thank you for your review. Now, listeners, if you want to be entered into a weekly drawing, again, leave me a written review on any platform, leave me a written review and you'll be entered into a weekly drawing to win one of my manifestation journals. If you wanna see what those look like, I have pictures of them on my website, attract it with ease.com. It's been fun talking with you this week. I'm looking forward to next week. Have a good one. Bye-bye.
