S1.E5: The Control Freak In You Needs To Hear This!
Nobody wants to be called a control freak — so stop being one! Stop trying to force an outcome, make that person like you, make this thing work out… stop, just STOP!
In episode 005 we talk about letting go of the details. How to let things come EASILY by releasing the pressure. Trying to control the details pigeon holes you into only allowing there to be one choice and it closes off all other FABULOUS plans the Universe has in store for you!
Listen in and learn how doing NOTHING actually gets you everything!
Episodes 001-010 are our Jump Start Module — 10 episodes designed to give you a jump start towards manifesting everything your heart desires!
Download the workbook the all 10 episodes for FREE on our website: www.AttractItWithEase.com
Podcast Music Credit to: Caleb Britton @NeonBrotherDC
005 The Control Freak In You Needs To Hear This!.mp3
Kayla Rain [00:00:37] Hi there, I'm Kayla Rain.
Adria Sha [00:00:39] And I'm Adria Sha.
Kayla Rain [00:00:41] And we're back talking about the Law of Attraction. Adria, nice to see you again. How's it going?
Adria Sha [00:00:48] It's great. How are you? How is your week?
Kayla Rain [00:00:50] My week was really good. It's been busy, but it's been good. I can't wait to get into our conversation today. In fact, I'm dying to tell you about my day. So let's talk about gratitude. Why don't you start? Telling me three things you're grateful for and why.
Adria Sha [00:01:08] Well, today I watched a play online or rather listened to it. I watched it. It was a video, but it was a reading of a play and it was really, really moving. So today I'm grateful for the written word and just all the different ways that emotion can be expressed.
Kayla Rain [00:01:27] Awww...
Adria Sha [00:01:29] And the second item is modern technology, which allowed me to view this even though it was happening in another state, in the middle of Covid pandemic. You know, I'm very grateful for that. I wouldn't otherwise have had the opportunity to benefit from that. And the third one is friendship. I'm very grateful for friends and just the love and support that they bring.
Kayla Rain [00:01:52] I love all of those. All right, so my gratitude, I have to tell you, I am so grateful for my job. And we had a milestone day today, and I don't even know if I'm supposed to talk about it outside of work.
Adria Sha [00:02:11] Do it! Do it!
Kayla Rain [00:02:11] But I'm totally going to blast it out to the world. I work for a consulting company that's new. We're in our third year of business and we just as a company hit our one million mark, meaning one million in one one fiscal year. So it is, it's where there we're super excited. And I, so I'm so grateful number one, that I love my job. But number two, I am so, so grateful to be along for the journey. I've been with this company for about six months now and so it's so exciting to feel like I was a piece of that and helped make that happen. They came very close last year and didn't hit it. And so I'm just so grateful for that. And with that, I'm so grateful for my boss. My boss is just simply amazing. She has her own podcast and if it wasn't for her, we wouldn't be doing this podcast because she does inspire me in a lot of ways, hearing her talk about her podcast, listening to her record, seeing how she impacts other people's lives, just really inspired me to want to do the same thing. And so all of my gratitude today surrounds work. But it's it's been a crazy, amazing day. And when we're done recording, we're going to go out and celebrate. And I'm super, super excited.
Adria Sha [00:03:34] Oh I love that! Thank you for sharing.
Kayla Rain [00:03:36] Yes. Yes. So Adria last week we chatted about vision boards and so we, aour action item last week was for our listeners to put together their lists, their vision board. And this week's topic I'm really excited about because it's not just like, "OK, what do you want?" But we're now getting into how do we make it happen? And so today our episode is actually titled: The Control Freak In You Needs To Hear This. And I love that because what we're getting into today is how things come about, how to manifest, how does it happen. And just naturally, we as humans have the desire to try and control things, we want to make things happen, literally make it happen! We see an opportunity and we're like, "Oh, I want that! I want this to come about!" And and we're like, "Please, please, please, oh please, please make that happen!" You know? It could be that you buy a lottery ticket and you're watching the drawing and you're like, "Oh, please call my numbers, please call my numbers! I really need this! I want this!" And whatever it is, we kind of have that tendency to want to control things. It could be in relationships. We go on a first date and we really like the person and we're like, "Oh my gosh, I hope he calls me!" And then he doesn't call. So then we're like, "Well, maybe I should text him." And we're trying to, we try and control that outcome. And then when things don't work out the way that we wanted, we get frustrated, we get upset. And then oftentimes this is where we start to feel like our ability to manifest is broken. Or that's where we start to doubt the Law of Attraction and say "It's not real, it doesn't work or it doesn't work for me." I hear that all the time. Like, "Well, that's great that it works for you, but that hasn't been my experience. It doesn't work for me.".
Adria Sha [00:05:38] Yes.
Kayla Rain [00:05:38] And the truth is, it works for everybody. But we have a tendency to get in our own way because we have lack of patience. We have lack of faith. We, we want to say it has to happen on my timeline and the way that I see best. And it needs to come about, you know, A, B, C. And when that doesn't happen, then we throw up our walls and go, "OK, well, you know what? Never mind. It's not for me. It's not working. This isn't real. This isn't a thing." Or we just get, you know, sad and depressed and upset. "Nobody loves me. He didn't call me back. I'm never going to meet my soulmate." And we go into this whole routine. Right? So number one, I want to say that we really are the biggest thing standing in our own way of getting everything we want. And I'll probably say that over and over and over again, over however long this podcast exists. I'll probably say all the time the only thing standing in our way is ourselves, because it really is our thinking and our desire to want to physically do something and force a situation. And, you know, this is kind of a funny conversation because I have it with Dan sometimes and I talk to him about not trying to force an outcome, and he really doesn't like that. He's like, "Ah, I'm not trying to force anything!" You know, he gets defensive and upset. "I'm not trying to force anything. I'm just trying to help." You know? It's one of those like, I don't know. Just to give you an example, we were we had our teardrop trailer that we were selling.
Adria Sha [00:07:24] We should clarify the Dan's your boyfriend real fast.
Kayla Rain [00:07:26] Yes. Not just my boyfriend, my fiance.
Adria Sha [00:07:29] Finace. That's right.
Kayla Rain [00:07:29] I'm sorry that I just jumped into that. Everyone's like, who's this Dan guy she's talking about? Well, Dan and I had a teardrop trailer that we were trying to sell and we had it listed online and we had people that were interested in it. We even had people that came out to see it. And then they would ghost us. We wouldn't hear from them anymore. And so it was frustrating. And he wanted to, you know, text them and offer them a discount. And just find out why we're not hearing back, you know?
Adria Sha [00:07:59] Right.
Kayla Rain [00:08:00] "Well, what if we drop the price, you know, a thousand dollars? And then we call them and tell them: You know what? It's going to sell really fast because we just dropped the price! Maybe they'll want to buy it." And that's, you know, his desire to try and force that outcome. And then, I go: "No, you can't control it. If they're not interested, they're not interested." And it's the same thing with relationships. If the guy is not texting, if the guy is not calling you, it's not going to change if you call him or you text him. And conceptually, we know that. But human nature is to want to control that and try and help it along, try and give it a nudge. And so when we're talking about things that we're trying to manifest, even physical things, we often try and do that. I think I've used the example a couple of times already, but I remember a couple of years ago Adria you wanted a new iPhone and there was like a drawing or something at work. And I remember you telling the sisters a few times, I"'m going to win that iPhone, I'm going to win it. I know it, I I'm going to win it.".
Adria Sha [00:08:58] I was really confident, actually.
Kayla Rain [00:08:59] And I totally appreciate that like, just gung ho attitude of like nothing standing in your way. But let let me ask you, did you win the iPhone?
Adria Sha [00:09:12] No, no, no. I was devastated.
Kayla Rain [00:09:14] Yeah. And that's how it tends to happen. And that doesn't mean we can that nothing ever works out when we try and control it. But we make it so much harder than it needs to be by trying to control it. And so today, I want to talk about letting go of when things happen, how they happen, the details of it happening. So let's just, for example, talk about finding your soul mate. If, we all know that you have Dwayne Johnson now on your vision board, right? The Rock, The Rock is on Adria's Vision Board. We also know that Dwayne Johnson is married. Right? So we're totally joking about the scenario. But let's pretend Adria runs into some guy that is the doppelganger of Dwayne Johnson. "And she's like, oh, my gosh, this is my soulmate..."
Adria Sha [00:10:05] I'm open to other guys as well. Just want to put that out there, he doesn't have to look like Dwayne Johnson.
Kayla Rain [00:10:11] But let's say let's say that you meet someone and he is so similar that you're like, "Oh my gosh, this was meant to be! I have Dwayne Johnson on my vision board. This is my guy. The universe brought me exactly what I was asking for." And then the guy doesn't call you back. You know, it's kind of one of those, well, what do you do? And you want to try and force that situation. But here's the flip side of it. If instead of focusing on this one specific person, we focus on what are you looking for in a relationship? What are the things that are important to you? How do you want to feel? What is the end result that you want? And that's the key part. What's the end result? And that's why when we talk about things that we want or things that we're grateful for, we talk about why we're grateful. Because it's not usually the thing that we want. It's not money that we want. It's what money does for us. It's the freedom that it gives us. It's the things it allows us to buy. It's the peace of mind that our bills are taken care of and that we can support ourselves and support our loved ones. But money really isn't. We don't care about a piece of paper. We don't care about a number in our bank account. We care about what those things mean. And every single thing we have on our vision board, that's the same case. You know? I don't want a hot tub just because I want to physically have this thing sitting on my porch. It's that I want the experience of being in a hot tub. I picture myself sitting in there with a glass of wine, you know, looking at the stars at night. Or having it be a social thing and having friends over and we sit around the fire and then in the evening we move to the hot tub and it just to me, it's that emotion and that feeling. It's the romance of it. It's the relaxation of it. It's the things that the hot tub provides for me, not physically owning one because I could own a hot tub and it could be broken. And it's definitely not going to give me all the things that I'm looking for in getting a hot tub. Right? So it's focusing on the end result of what do we want? And putting that out to the universe and then when we remove the how when we say, "OK, it doesn't have to be this doppelganger of The Rock, it can be any guy out there who meets these expectations." And that may be the way that he treats you. It could be his background. It could be his spiritual beliefs. It could be whether or not he has children or whether or not he wants children. It could be a number of different factors. But when you just outline it and these are my non-negotiables. These are the things that I want. I want this. I want this. I want this. I want this. That guy that's the doppelganger of The Rock may fit in that group, he may be one of those options. But you also open the universe up to give you every option out there. And I can promise you, when your list is maybe 15 things long and you're talking about every person that lives on this planet, you probably have hundreds of thousands of people that then fit all of the criteria that you're looking for. And when you remove that, it has to be this guy and it has to be by a certain date. And that's often where we run into like with your iPhone drawing. The drawing was on a certain day and it was a specific drawing. So you knew, "I'm winning it in this drawing and that drawing happens on this date." And then when it doesn't happen, we feel like "Ugh! It doesn't work. My manifesting is broken. Why don't I ever get what I want? I don't know how to do this. I don't believe in it. It doesn't work for me. Nothing's ever working out for me." But let me ask you, Adria, that was a couple of years ago. Did you ever get your iPhone?
Adria Sha [00:14:08] I did! Yes, I love it.
Kayla Rain [00:14:11] How did you how did you get it? Do you remember? How did it come about?
Adria Sha [00:14:15] It was a gift. Somebody gave it to me.
Kayla Rain [00:14:17] All right. So that was not even on your radar when you put it out there. But you knew you had the opportunity to possibly win that iPhone in this drawing at your work. And then once that opportunity came and went, then all the opportunities, all the different ways of the universe could have brought you an iPhone, the universe found a way. And it brought it to you. Right? So. I really want to focus in on the conversation of letting go of the details and to help us do that, I have a couple of examples of some just random things, various things that I have manifested over the years. And when we were talking about the hot tub last week and I said that Dan's boss was going to give us his hot tub, you stopped me and you said, "I just have to say that everything in your whole life is like that. Everything in your life happens like this.".
Adria Sha [00:15:16] Yes!
Kayla Rain [00:15:16] Right? And it's so true. But the reason that it happens like that for me is because I have learned to let go of the details, to let go of when it happens, how it happens and just release it to the universe. Just believe, "Look I don't know how long it's going to take. I don't know when it's going to happen. I don't know how it's going to happen. But the universe is going to give me everything I'm asking for." And I've learned to do that. And so I just want to kind of go through some of these experiences and examples with you. And Adria, if you have any that you can think of, I would love to hear yours, too. But I'm just going to talk about the first one here. And this is that I mentioned, I think last week about a Passat that I used to own and it was a lease. I leased it. And as the lease was coming due, I did not have a plan for a car. And I did not know what I was going to do. And due to other circumstances at the time, my credit was not very good and I was kind of concerned about how am I going to get another vehicle and how am I going to get to work? Are Dan and I going to have to share a car? Because I'm going to have to turn in this lease soon and I don't have a down payment for something else. I don't have... I did not feel like I had the credit to get something else, and I was kind of just like, "I don't know what I'm going to do." And you have two choices in those situations. It's just like two sides to every coin. The glass is always half empty, it's half full. You can either focus on the stress of like, "Oh, crap, what am I going to do?" And you can let that eat you alive or you can decide to let it go. Release it. This is the ease, right? Let's be easy about it. This is not easy to do, but it's what you need to do. You've got to be easy. Let it go. And I just told myself, "You know what? I don't know how this is going to happen. I don't know how I'm going to get a car, but I'm not going to worry about it. I'm not going to stress, the Universe who will bring me a car one way or another. I have no idea." And I don't know if you remember Adria how I got my next car, but the very, very no joke very day that I had to turn my car in, that day, I did not know what I was going to do. That very day Dan walks outside. We had this sweet old lady that lived across the street that had recently been put in a nursing home, and her children were there cleaning out her house because it looked like she was going to have to permanently live in assisted living. And so Dan walks outside and just happens to ask the kids, "Hey. So what are you guys doing with Marcia's car?" And they said, "Well, I think we're going to have to sell it." And he said, "Well, how much are you looking to sell it for?" And they said, I don't know, something like fifteen hundred. And it was simply amazing because it was the very day that I was carless orr going to be carless, that this random car across the street, which I saw every day. It was a Honda Accord. It was not a Accord, a Honda, I can't remember the SUV, whatever that's called. Anyway, so it was a decent car, but it was older, but it was something that I could pay in cash, I didn't have to qualify for. I could have made payments on, that they needed to get rid of anyway. And it wasn't even on my radar as a possibility because when I first knew I was turning my lease in, I didn't know that the woman across the street was going to go into a home. I didn't know that her car was going to be for sale. And here I looked at that car every day as she came and went for the period of time that she lived across the street from us. And she was a great friend of ours. She's now passed on. Sorry, Marcia, I miss you. But I had this Honda just fall literally into my lap without even, it was effortlessly. It was crazy!
Adria Sha [00:19:24] This is crazy!
Kayla Rain [00:19:25] And I was able to pay cash for it. And that car lasted a little while and then I sold it. And it's it's now gone. And someone else, I'm sure, is enjoying it. But it was this amazing, incredible thing that came together. And if I had been focused on, number one, trying to figure out how to make it happen, I would have been stressed out of my mind. But number two, I never would have had this on my radar as a possibility. I would have been working towards trying to figure something else out. So I would have been trying to get maybe a bad credit buy now, pay here, kind of loan somewhere. And, you know, that might have worked out, but it would have been a completely different scenario. And instead, by just releasing it to the universe and saying, "you know what? I trust you. I believe. I'm putting it out there." The universe brought me this amazing blessing and it was at the very exact moment that I needed it. So that's the first one that I want to share with you.
Adria Sha [00:20:20] Wow.
Kayla Rain [00:20:20] So I also want to share with you one of Dan's experiences. Dan, I've shared a few times. He is a professional photographer and we used to live in Vegas. And when we were in Vegas, he was new in his career, early in his career. And he told me one day, just kind of on a whim, he said "You know what I really want? I want to have an art gallery on the strip." And he talked about how you can go into these galleries of this these famous photographers and just see these giant, you know, pictures and they're for sale. And that kind of like that's how, you know, you have made it. And how much money is there in being able to sell a piece like that? Let alone to have a gallery like on the Las Vegas Strip. And he said it kind of in passing, like, I know he really wanted it. But there was it was seemed so far fetched and out of his mind that there was no intensity put on it. It wasn't he wasn't trying to force anything. He wasn't trying to push an outcome because it didn't even seem like a possibility in his mind. It seemed like a pie in the sky dream.
Adria Sha [00:21:35] Right.
Kayla Rain [00:21:35] Within probably 60 days of him putting that statement out into the he Universe like verbalizing, "I want a gallery on the strip." He happened to be and I don't remember the details. He could correct me on this. But the way that I remember it is that he happened to be somewhere where a guy ran across his photos, asked, "Whose photos are these?" Got Dan's information called Dan and said, "I am in charge of decorating the concierge office in the Link Hotel and Casino and I'm in love with your photography. Could we talk about getting your artwork in there?"
Adria Sha [00:22:20] Wow.
Kayla Rain [00:22:20] And so it turned into a whole gallery. His artwork was for sale. It's no longer up. They've gotten rid of that concierge, but it was there for probably two years. And it was crazy to me how he was able to go from just putting it out into the universe and saying, this is what I want. But as we talk about taking the pressure off of things, releasing it, being easy about it, there was no pressure on it because he didn't even, like, see it as a possibility in the near future. It was just like, Hey Universe, this is what I want!" And then I, like, laughed and laughed when it happened because I'm like, "This fell out of the sky! Like, how how did that even happen? Like, you literally put this giant goal out there and then the he Universe, the guy calls you! You don't even have to, like, go ask somebody. You don't have to try and make it happen. You don't have to try and sign a lease and rent a space and build your own business. This guy literally calls you and says, hey, I love your artwork. Can we hang it in the linked hotel and Casino?"
Adria Sha [00:23:25] That's Iawesome. That's jsut incredible.
Kayla Rain [00:23:27] It is incredible. And when I talk about manifesting incredible things, I think we all probably have these experiences of these miracle moments. And we'll talk about that in another episode. We'll talk about miracles and recognizing them. But sometimes we don't even recognize when these crazy things happen. But they happen all the time. And when they don't happen or if we feel like they aren't happening, it's almost always because we're trying to control the outcome. We're trying to control the details. We're trying to force something that isn't the way that it's meant to happen. And as we talk about this, I don't think we've gotten into this yet. But there are a couple of rules when it comes to the Law of Attraction. And one of those rules is that you cannot force something or make something happen for someone else. So if you're asking for something that involves another person, I'm sorry, but it's up to the other person whether or not that happens. Just like you can't force somebody to fall in love with you. Unless you, you know, have some magical powers or something that I'm unaware of, if you can cast a spell on someone. But aside from that, just simply asking the universe for something, if it involves another person, it's up to them to also want the same thing in order for that to come about. So that's one rule.
Adria Sha [00:24:49] OK.
Kayla Rain [00:24:49] And with that another rule is that you cannot force when something happens or how something happens, you just can't. And yet the control freak in us wants to. And when we're not controlling it, we feel like we're not doing enough. We feel like we're not doing our part if we just sit back and have faith, we're not doing anything.
Adria Sha [00:25:16] Definitely, yeah, I think I don't know if that's the product of the time we live in or the place we live in, but I very much feel I mean, we're conditioned, I think, to to learn that if you want something, you go after it. You do everything in your power and you get it, whether it's in in the professional field or some other, you know, or dating scenario or whatever. And so the idea of just putting it out there and then stepping back is almost foreign. It's it's definitely not, doesn't feel natural to me.
Kayla Rain [00:25:49] You're absolutely right. And there's even quotes out there, success related quotes that talk about, you know, if you want something that no one else has, you've got to do something no one else has ever done. Or you've got to work hard for it. And there's all these and I'm probably butchering those quotes. And people are like, "Who does she think she is? That's not what the quote is!" But that's kind of the concept, right? Is that you have to work hard in order to get something. And the forcing the outcome or trying to text someone or trying to call and offer a discount, you know, those things we feel like we're helping, but we we're not helping. We're actually getting in the way. And we're also building ourselves up emotionally for a potential letdown when it doesn't work out. Whereas if we just release it and say, you know what, I'm OK if it happens right now or if it doesn't, because if it doesn't happen this way, then I know it'll happen another way and it'll be better. And that's another point I wanted to make, is that almost every time that I get something I've asked for it, it's been far better than what I ever imagined. It turns out to be way, way better than even what I had in my head. And then I'm so grateful that it didn't happen the way that I would have tried to manipulate it because. The universe can just come up with so much goodness and and the universe can reach all people and all scenarios and everything has to kind of be orchestrated and come together in order for it to come about. And we can't control those details. So that being said, I have another one that I want to share with you.
Adria Sha [00:27:30] Please.
Kayla Rain [00:27:30] And I have to warn you guys that I already know that this is going to make me emotional. Just saying that makes me emotional. I have had a few different times in my life where I have been unemployed for various reasons. And one in particular, I had been with a company for almost 10 years and it was bought out by another company. And with that, our whole department was laid off. And so I found myself unemployed, which was really hard for me because I had gone from making a lot of money to having no money or basically just unemployment. And there was a Christmas during that time that I could barely just pay my bills. With the unemployment money and stay on top of things. And I just really didn't know how I was going to do anything for anyone else or have a Christmas and even make ends meet at the end of the year. And it was one of those really trying times for me where it was just trying to really trust the he Universe. You know, when you're in those super desperate moments where you're like, "I don't even know how I'm going to pay rent or make my car payment, let alone do something for someone else." It's really hard to trust, but I did. And one day I came home. I don't remember exactly how it happened, but I was living in Vegas and two of my sisters we're at my door. Surprised me and visited, totally unknown to me, had arranged it with Dan. Came at a time that I just really needed family and support. And not only did they come, but they came with a full Christmas of gifts for Dan and me and Dan's daughter. And on top of that, Adria, who is my costar here. Adria had money saved up for something that she really wanted for herself and my sisters didn't even know how much I needed it. But she gifted it to me. And it was the exact amount that I needed in order to make ends meet. And it was this incredible, incredible blessing that I never could have orchestrated. And it was to me just one of many, many experiences in my life where I've just put my faith out there and I've trusted in God or trusted in the universe and said, "Look, I, I really don't know how to make this happen. I don't know how to get through this. But I trust you. I trust you enough that you will take care of me." And somehow in all of that, that message got to my sisters. I had not shared with them how hard things were. I had not talked to them about how stressed I was. And yet they planned a road trip. They showed up at my door. They took care of my Christmas. They brought me money. And they were there for me emotionally. And Adria, I know I thanked you for at the time, but I want to thank you again because we'll talk about it on other episodes, but oftentimes we are the answers to someone else's prayer, and you were the answer to my prayer. And it was just another one of those times where just letting go of the details of how and trusting, the universe was able to open that door and bring about that miracle for me. So thank you for that.
Adria Sha [00:31:41] Thank you.
Kayla Rain [00:31:44] So shifting gears and getting happy one more time, I'll tell you one more experience that I had and then we can kind of wrap this conversation up. But there was a time in my life, same kind of time period when money was tight, where, oh, I was so overwhelmed and, oh, I was so stressed and I really just wanted a vacation. I felt like I need a vacation. And this was prior to meeting Dan. I had gone through a breakup after a long term relationship, and I wasn't working and I was just going through a lot. And I was like, "Oh my gosh, I just really could use a vacation!" And it was like, "I don't even know how I can afford a vacation right now, even if I wanted to." But I just put that out there and I thought, you know what? Why not ask for it? I don't know how. I don't know how I'll get a vacation, but let's just put it out there that somehow I can have a break. And I had a friend that I had worked with before, reach out to me and say, "Hey, I want to go to Mexico. And you know, I don't have anyone to go with. Do you want to go?" And I thought, well, yeah, I want to go but I can't afford to go. And he says, "Well actually I have this like timeshare kind of thing." I have this wasn't a timeshare, but we'll just call it a timeshare. It was similar to that. "I have this thing where I can cover the hotel. So all we need is airfare." And it turned out because my prior job, I had been a road warrior, I had all of these flight credits, and so I didn't have the money for a vacation, but I definitely had flight credits. And I was like, "oh, my gosh, I got you!" So literally the only out of pocket that we paid aside from food was the airfare fee, like the ticket booking fee that was like five dollars and sixty cents per way or something to book the flight.
Adria Sha [00:33:57] Wow!
Kayla Rain [00:33:57] But I covered the flights. He covered the hotel. We went to Mexico, had this amazing vacation, and it was exactly what I needed. And it was just another way that the universe was like, "Oh, you need a vacation? Here, I'll give you a vacation." And it was so fun and so amazing and. Anyway, I I have so many stories like that. And I wish that my stories gave you examples of how I tried to control it and it didn't work out. But this is something I've been practicing for years. And so I don't have relevant stories like that because I've learned that doesn't work. The only way it does work is when you're easy about it. If you just say, "Hey, I want this!" And I'll say this a lot of times because this is conceptually how I see things. But when you ask for something, I feel like it's turning on a garden hose. You ask the universe to turn on the garden hose and sometimes it takes a little bit for the water to get from the spout all the way to the end of the hose. You've probably experienced that as a kid. But when it comes, the water comes gushing like it rushes out at you! And sometimes, like I remember as a kid, like turning the hose straight up to get a drink. And like, when it finally comes, it, like, spurts in your face.
Adria Sha [00:35:26] Oh yeah!
[00:35:26] Right? It's like you weren't expecting it to be so strong. That's the universe like going. "Ta-da! Here you go!" But here's what we have a tendency to do. We have a tendency to strangle it and squeeze it and step on it. We know when we bend the hose in half, when we kink the hose, nothing comes out. And that's what happens when we put pressure on what we're asking for, when we put pressure on it and we say, "Oh, please, please, please. Oh, it has to happen this exact way. It has to happen right now. I have to win that iPhone in this contest. I have to win a million dollars in this lottery. I have to have this guy call me back because I know he's my soul mate!" We're squeezing the garden hose and then the water can't flow. The universe is like, "Um I had a whole plan for you, but OK." Turns back around like, "Never mind. I guess I'll take that back." Because we squeeze it and we put the pressure on it. And so I will use that reference over and over again because that's how I visualize this working. But when you try and control or manipulate the situation, you're literally squeezing the garden hose and you're also making it harder for you to manifest because you're taking away all the other ways that God or the universe can bring about the exact thing that you're asking for. So if I say I want I don't know if I said I wanted a new pair of boots. I don't know if that's a very good example, I just want a new pair of boots, so that's why I sent that one. But if I said I want a new pair of boots and I make it so specific that it's got to be from this store and it's got to be at this price and I need them by this date, then it takes away all the other ways that I could get that pair of boots. Somebody could gift to them to me. I could find them used on someplace like Mercari or Poshmark. I said this last week, and it seems silly for a pair of boots, but it's maybe you find some sitting on the side of the road. You know? It could be that I go into a thrift shop and they're sitting there. I mean, there's this seems silly too, but Dan works at a place where they get a lot of deliveries. And for whatever reason, FedEx tends to miss-deliver a lot to them. Like pallets full of stuff. So let's throw that out there. You could have them miss-delivered to you and they won't come back and get them. So now they're yours, right? There's just so many silly, crazy ways that you could get this new pair of boots. But if I say, "No, it has to be from this department store. And I've I've got to I've got to buy them and I'm not willing to buy them until they hit this price." Well, guess what? They're probably going to sell out before they hit that price in your size. It's not, that that's actually happened to me, which is why I really want these boots so bad. I can't find them anywhere because everywhere is sold out in my in my size, because I should have bought them at full price instead of waiting for them to go on sale. Anyway. I think I've kind of made my point. But really what I'm getting at is that if you just release it and you say, "Look, I just want these boots." And then you let it go. Someone could gift them to you. You may find this amazing sale on them. You may run across them in the thrift store. You may have someone at work say, "Hey, I bought these, they're the wrong size, do you want them?" You just don't know. There's so many crazy ways that something could come about. And by releasing how it happens and releasing when it happens and getting, getting away from the details of it and focusing on the end result that you want, what is that end result? How do you want to feel? Why is it that you really want this thing? Putting that out into the universe! Now, you've opened up all these options for the universe to make that come about for you. So, Adria, do you have any input or final thoughts on this topic?
Adria Sha [00:39:44] Not really, as you've been talking, I've been thinking of. I've been thinking of all the things that I tried really hard to force to happen and never happened.
Kayla Rain [00:39:53] That's the conversation! That should have been the conversation. Instead of these crazy like stories that made me cry about these amazing miracles, I've had. We should talk about all the things that don't work. So let's make that an episode.
Adria Sha [00:40:08] Let's not. I love what you've sharedd because I I've seen some of these things happening in your life and it really from the outside, like, it almost seems magical.
Kayla Rain [00:40:20] Well, it is magical, it's just believing in that magic and trusting, and that's something we'll talk about over and over again, but it's literally having the faith, having the patience to just trust and just say, "OK, I don't know how, but I'm releasing it to you. And I believe that you will bring it about in the timeline that I need it." Or and sometimes it's not even need. Hopefully we don't really need anything. It's just all desires. But if it is something desperate, like my situation was that you just trust like, look, I don't know. And even with the car, like, I needed a car! I mean, sure, I could have figured it out for a while, but the very day I needed a new car was the day that it came about. It didn't happen earlier. It fell in my lap that very day. And so it's just having that faith and not getting in your own way, trusting in the universe and letting go of the details. So that's our episode for today. We do have an action item, folks, as usual. And our action item this week is now that you have worked on your vision board, right? Wink wink.
Adria Sha [00:41:30] Yes, you better have listeners, if not, get to it!
Kayla Rain [00:41:33] Unless you're binge listening and you only heard that like forty five minutes ago, then we cut you some slack. But as you're working on your vision board, today's action item is pick one item on your vision board, one thing on there and list out twenty different ways that that could happen for you. If it's a tangible item, it could be something like it's sitting on the side of the road, somebody gifted it to me. I got it as a Christmas present. Like I said, my roommate or my neighbor or my best friend said, hey, I don't want this anymore. There's so many different ways. If it's not something tangible, if it's something like a meeting your soul mate, let's talk about all the ways you could run into this person. Right? You could be set up on a blind date. You could, I said this to Adria earlier. You could get in a car accident and have to exchange phone numbers. Right? You could meet them at the grocery store.
Adria Sha [00:42:38] I was going to tell you, last time I was at the store, when I walked out to my car, a guy asked me if I could help him jump his car. And so immediately I was looking at him to see if he fit my soulmate criteria. But he had a wedding ring and so he didn't fit my criteria. But yeah, I mean, I thought, wouldn't that be funny if I you know...
Kayla Rain [00:42:58] There's so there's there's so many ways! And we have a tendency to close our minds to all the like out of the box ways something can happen and focus in on the ways that we see everybody else do it, or the way we think it should happen. But you could meet somebody online, you could meet somebody at church, you could meet somebody at the gym. You could have somebody come door to door trying to sell you a home security system. You never know how...
Adria Sha [00:43:28] You could meet someone the way you and Dan met, which is a perfect example of that I think.
Kayla Rain [00:43:32] Yeah, I said that was already, at the grocery store. It's crazy. It's crazy how things can come about. And it is so fun. It is so fun to see things come together when you leave it up to the Universe. So we're going to leave you with that. And we're going to just wrap up with the two reminders. Number one, all of the first 10 episodes are your jumpstart module. So make sure you download all 10 episodes and then go to our website www.AttractItWithEase.com And download your workbook so that you can remember these action items and have something to write it all in. And then we also have a give away. Adria, will you tell them about your give our give away?
Adria Sha [00:44:17] Yes, we want to ask everybody to listen and rate and subscribe. But if you leave us a review of our podcast, you'll be entered into the drawing, we'll pick a different name every single week. And when we choose your name from the people who have left us a review, you get a custom bracelet with your theme word of the year, that we'll send out to you. So thank you.
Kayla Rain [00:44:38] That's right. So, fifty two winners this year. Fifty two different people that live reviews will get a custom bracelet sent to them. So please leave us a review. Good or bad, we want to hear from you. And that leads us to send us your questions, send us pictures of your vision board, send us your own experiences with the Law of Attraction and you can reach out to us through our website. That's it.
Adria Sha [00:45:04] I'm excited.
Kayla Rain [00:45:05] Go ahead.
Adria Sha [00:45:05] I just wanted to say I'm excited as we do these bracelets through the giveaway to see what words people have chosen for their theme of the year.
Kayla Rain [00:45:12] I love that. And you know what? We can probably put together a list somewhere on the site that lists different words as we get input from people just to kind of help other people come up with their words and their ideas. So that's it for this week. Adria, thank you for joining me. Look forward to next week. Have a great night.
Adria Sha [00:45:29] You too. It was fun. Bye bye.
Kayla Rain [00:45:30] Yes. Bye bye.
